Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
