I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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