Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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