I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
