she looked like the before picture.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
