Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm going to jail i love you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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