3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
