yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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