He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
