I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
