Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
