I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
