I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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