I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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