Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
