AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
