It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
