; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
