I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
