I accidentally burped into my bong.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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