It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
that's an acceptable place to lick
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
