Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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