When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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