I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
