Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this just has baby written all over it
two words: eviction party
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
