And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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