CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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