i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
