I'm so fucking centered right now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
