last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
