Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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