'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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