just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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