her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
