He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
