White coat. Heels.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
