Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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