I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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