I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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