i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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