my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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