At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
