So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
