Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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