Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize