Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
