U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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