Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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