carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
