I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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