Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
